Thursday 20 February 2014

Mo money, mo problems

I got the job in the cafe. It's one of those places that does genuinely nice coffee and plays stuff like Franz Ferdinand, The Smiths and, of course, Wham! on the stereo. This is my third job washing dishes and as such I thought I had it down, but there's always something to remind me that I am the newbie who doesn't know how things work yet.

On my first trial shift my boss gave me the lowdown on the sink, the detergent and the sponges (sorry for all the jargon). I seemed to have picked everything up fine, but then she threw a curveball later when she asked where the water around the sink had come from. I gave it a moment's thought, and said half-jokingly "it was probably me?". She looked at me and said "was it you?" and I was stuck. Yes? The water on the floor by the sink was probably the result of me washing dishes with water at the sink. She nodded and said "ok". Hold on, what? Did I just admit to doing something wrong?

She took me by surprise again yesterday during my second real shift (because somehow, despite my faux pas with the splashing, they hired me anyway) when I was wiping a mark off a mug after it had come out of the dishwasher. It is worth pointing out that the dishwasher isn't really a dishwasher - it's one of those glass washers which rinses everything with scalding hot water, so you have to wash stuff first and then put it through. Indeed, "wash it before it goes through", she said. "Not after." What did she think I was doing? Did she really just suggest I'd been rinsing stuff and then washing it?

I wouldn't say it came across as patronising because usually I have no idea why the question is being asked. When I feel patronised, it's because I'm being told to do something as if I'm an idiot. With these questions, I'm always bewildered, because I don't understand the motivation behind asking it. But then she ruins that sense of mystery and confusion by telling me how to wipe down a surface and I wonder if maybe I do just come across as an idiot. After all, I did manage to cut my thumb when I was shelling an egg. (That came back to bite me when I had to juice half a litre's worth of lemons by hand, because - oh yeah! - lemon juice in a little cut stings.)*

The positive about working in a cafe like the one I do is that I get free things. I invariably get a coffee at the beginning of my shift (one of those ones that's so strong you have to space out the sips) and a free sandwich for lunch (with fancy things like walnuts or falafel or poached chicken in them) and usually a leftover "treat" at the end. Yesterday I got a muffin, but one of the baristas got two slices of chocolate orange tart that looked amazing. I was, naturally, excessively jealous to the point of vitriolic hatred, but I guess I just have to make them all love me so that I get the best treats one day.

As it stands, then, I will continue in my part-time, minimum wage job, in a bid to wangle really good treats from my colleagues. Unfortunately it puts me in a position where I don't really have the money to do much other than live. I'm trying to put money aside each week so I can travel with good buddy Jenny when she comes to Oz in August, so after saving and the whole "paying my rent" thing, there isn't much money left - but equally I don't know what I would do with any money I did have because I still don't really know anyone. My boss has asked a few times if I've been to any of the local pubs yet, so if any of you want to take bets on how long it takes me to crack and go drinking by myself, do feel free.

Still, extensive use of The Internet suggests to me that I'm not the first graduate who left university and went through a series of minimum wage jobs that were far below his skill set. If all else fails I'll surely make it as one of those Tortured Artist Bloggers On The Internet.

*I asked the chef if she had any tips on how to juice the lemons most efficiently. "Squeeze 'em," she said.

1 comment:

  1. This is like when someone told me how to sort books at the library. Okay I haven't worked there for 10 years, but I still know the alphabet.

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